As the year, 2013, is down to its last hours, all I can think and say to sum up my year is gratitude.
This has been the fastest year in my 28 years of existence.
I have been a fiancée, a bride, a wife, a preggy, and a mother in just one year.
Last December 2012, I would say was a lonely celebration. I was celebrating by myself because my siblings were with their families at the time. My dad was drinking outside, while my Mom and I were waiting till midnight. I remembered I still dressed up, and put on my make up just to make myself busy. Though that was the case, I did not complain. Why would I? I didn’t have any reason to complain. I was very blessed.
This year came in with the news that I was pregnant, yes, I admit I was surprised, SHOCKED with FEAR. I feared a lot of things. I feared that my parents wouldn’t understand, that people would judge me, that I would lose the job I had which is my passion for teaching, but most of all, I feared that I will not be a good parent.
While pregnant, my fiancée and I was preparing for our wedding. A wedding we wanted to happen December 2013, but God wanted us to be married earlier I guess. So we push through with May 18, 2013. The number and date meant a lot to us, we wanted to be married May 8, but it was a weekday and we wanted everyone we love to be present so we chose the latter, still having the number 8 in it. 18 was a very sentimental number for us. Even more now, because it is meant to make us remember our promise to infinity. During the wedding preparations, I was a happy bride to be and a mother to be. I was so excited with all that was happening but was preparing myself for what will happen. I had my family, friends, and especially my husband to support and guide through all my wedding jitters and hormonal imbalance.
Our wedding was the perfect wedding. I knew some things will not work out as planned, but I didn’t care. I trusted that our entourage, family, friends, and people who love us will not let anything trouble us in our wedding day. During that day, I let go and enjoyed. Till now I get teary eyed watching our same day edit and the reminiscing walk-down-the-aisle moment.
It was a decision to love, a decision I will never regret.
Then August 21 came. After dancing to Harlem Shake, singing “you are my clarity, why are you my tragedy” (pardon me, I don’t know the title) I gave birth to my source of joy. A baby boy that makes me want to live my life and be a better person. He has made me stronger ( After all the labor pains, I know I can handle any pain now) physically, emotionally and spiritually. He has made me realize I can love this much. He also made me realize that I am not a bad person after all, that I can learn to not be lazy, to sacrifice my wants for his needs, that I can be happy with just him, and his dad. He made me realize how simple life should be.
HE MADE ME HAPPY WITH JUST THE LITTLE THINGS.
Enzo and Ethel have been the greatest highlights of my year. I am no longer my own, but my family’s. I am better because of them. I grow and learn because of all the things they have taught me. I am ready to take on another year. I have had my losses in 2013, lost friends, money, even the job I love because of all the things I have gained. But I do not regret, neither do I complain. If having them around means losing those things again, I would definitely say yes again in a heartbeat.
I am grateful. This year has been a blessing. I am amazed at how I could literally feel God’s hands guiding me to what is meant to happen in my life. So let me say my thanks to everyone, old and new, who decided to stay not only in my life but ours. Thank you, because of you, our year has been a lot easier to carry. Because of you, we are better people. We feel loved and we love. Thank you and cheers to another year together!