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Sunday, April 12, 2009

A life little less complicated

For a year now, I have been in a beautiful relationship.
A relationship a lot different from the previous ones I had.

I have been in two relationships in the past that has not treated me exactly the right way, or should I say the way I think I deserved to be treated. Two psuedo-relationships that had been a difficult part of my life. Everytime I think about it again, it still hurts that I had to go through with the pain, the confusion and the pretension. It was hard to be the "2nd" girl, hard to be the girl they would never introduce to their parents, the girl not worthy of commitment. Those memories never fails to hurt me. Honestly, hurt is an understatement of what I felt back then.

During those days, I believed that I was unlovable, that I did not deserve commitment from any guy, that i was not enough for anyone to love. I was more convinced that it was my fate, when the 2nd guy came. I was on the brink of surrendering to the situation.. just to get him to love me.. I was consenting to be an OPTION:the 2nd girl.

Then a light of hope came to me. UNEXPECTED.
I was never looking for another guy, I wasnt even interested.
I guess God answered my prayers.
He gave me someone who can see a beautiful and deeper side of me.

He came. He was cute, i admit it.
He was MY TYPE.

Unfortunately, I was on the verge of accepting I was just good enough to be the 2nd girl.
So I didnt pay too much attention.
As i always say to him now, I WAS JUST BEING NICE TO HIM.

Good thing he still made his way to my heart. With his charming looks, his unbelievably cute smile, his dreams for his family and others, for the way he looked at me like I was the nicest thing on earth. He made me feel so loved, a feeling I have never felt before.

Though it seemed like a fairytale, our story was never smooth and calm.
Before we even became a couple, I had to confront someone from my past. I was confused. I didnt want to hurt anyone. I was willing to hurt myself rather than to hurt them. I thought it was the right thing to do, but guess what this guy told me that what i would do would still hurt three people. However noble or martyr what i was about to do seem like, it would inevitably hurt someone. He taught me to choose, to choose for what i know is best for me.. TO CHOOSE WHAT MY HEART TELLS ME..

I know my heart is a good and smart heart. So, i trusted my heart and the love he offers me.

For a year now, my life is STILL COMPLICATED. Still full of troubles, confusions and pains. Nothing has really changed much..

Nothing except that now i hold in my heart
the person God has sent me,
the person who loves me even at my ugliest,
the person who laughs at my mistakes and bloopers,
the person who can make my temper go sky high but still can make me laugh the hardest,
the person who inspires me to become better,
the person who looks at me lovingly everyday,
the person who appreciates my little nose, and my frail body,
the person who thinks im the hottest thing next to the sun,:)
the person who committed to me and promised me that i am his only love,
the person who has completed my life,

and that person has made every journey of my life a little less complicated.

That person is the love of my life, KEENE ANTOLM BENEDIQUE V. CALIPARA.

This may be too late to be an anniv gift but hey, everyday spent with you is a celebration. I hope you realize how great a person you are.:)



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