How motherhood changed me.

Just before I gave birth, I was expecting that a lot of things would changed about me. I would imagine myself rejecting parties, out-of-town trips, shopping, movies, and all sort of things I did when I was still single. I would always tell my friends that I couldn't commit to anything yet because things will change as soon as I give birth. It was something I looked forward to but also dread.

Why I looked forward to it?

Well, a baby is always something to be excited about. I am fond of children and having a baby of my own was thrilling. I also enjoyed looking at small clothes, shoes, toys, that are all sooooo cuuttee. I also looked forward to bringing him along wherever I go. I was anticipating being with a little kid with every second of my life. I was also very much excited to see him achieving his milestones in life. But as there are a lot of things to look forward to, came worries as well. .

I am a natural worrier. (If there is such a thing!:)) Having a child made me worry a lot. I worried that I could not provide for my future's son.  I worried about where to send him to school, how to pay for his school's expenses, what happens when he gets sick, and all other "kapraningan". Just as much as I worried about my kid, I also had my share of worries about myself. I was worried that I wouldn't have the strength to run around when my kid's big enough to run, or that I couldn't wake up early in the morning, or that I couldn't handle my temper at times when he misbehaves. It was all sort of worries that at times irrational. Good thing, my husband's the opposite. He is always relaxed and composed. Although at times I get irritated with this attitude, it helps that he's like that because it calms me down.

So did motherhood really changed me? Well, YES and NO.

No because I am still the person I was before I gave birth. I'm still makulit, magulo, maingay, antukin, etc.  I still want the same things before, still talk the way I did, still think the way I did. After having nine months of big tummy, I am back to my usual figure (well, except for the baby bump that I still have :)). So personality, physically and emotionally it didn't really change me.  

What motherhood actually did to me was made me a better version of myself. From Sarah Geronimo's line in It Takes a Man and a Woman, I am now Jhoanna version 2.0. It only did not make me a better version of myself but I have now a little guy with me that shares a part of who I am.

Most of the time I still cannot believe that the child I am holding in my hands is my own. It still awes me to see him grow and can hardly believe that he came from him. I often ask myself, "Sa akin ba talaga galing ito?" and be amazed at this miracle I have in my arms. Now, I have someone I can really call my own, someone I am accountable for, someone who is truly a part of me, from now until forever.  

Motherhood is an opportunity or should I say a blessing I am lucky to have or to be. I have never felt this needed as much as my baby needs me now. I have never loved even without knowing who or what kind of person he is. I have never felt scared for someone this much that even an insect bite or small cry worries me. I have never felt all these before but I am grateful that I have it now. 

I am still new at this motherhood thing. Almost everyday I do not know if I am doing a good job at it, all I know now is that I love my son so much that I am willing to do anything for him. Cliche as it may sound, but it is true. I am so proud to be his mother and I will do everything in my power to give the best to him. I will dream, hope, and work hard for him. Because being a mother is an opportunity to teach, inspire, care, and love someone directly. Motherhood is LOVE. 

MOM MATTERS: My First Failure as a Mom

Right from the start of my pregnancy, I wanted to be able to breastfeed. As I've said in my previous blogs, I wanted to breastfeed because of its so many advantages and benefits not only for my baby but for myself as well. I even attended a seminar on breastfeeding because that is how much I was determined to breastfeed.

But I failed.

I admit that when my son turned one month, I started giving him formula already. It was half hearted. At the back of my mind, I was hesitant to do it. I did not want to give up breastfeeding but I had to.I had no problem with milk supply, (one of the reasons why I was half hearted to stop) but was suffering from plugged ducts and blisters. It was too painful.  I was even at the point of rejecting my baby because of too much pain. They said breastfeeding did not have to be painful so I knew that something isn't right with what  me and my baby were doing. I tried, I would say I really tried. I read everything I could put my hands on about breastfeeding, tried all sorts of solutions, but nothing seem to work. The pain was getting worse and worse. 

That one morning I decided to give my son formula, is the day that I failed him. I felt guilty, knowing that he would have been better with breast milk. I was guilty because it would mean a huge part of our budget would go to buying milk. But more than guilt, I felt weak. I felt I was not strong enough to endure the pain for my child. 

I felt like a failure. It was as if I could not take the inconveniences or pain of what could have brought more benefit for my son, and that I was not worthy to be called Mom.

Then, after feeling like a big fat failure, I came across an article online (which I couldn't find now) that talked about giving up on breastfeeding and that mothers who formula feed their children are not bad parents. Whew! I knew that parents who formula fed aren't bad parents, but that was what I felt about me. The article validated my feeling of guilt but also affirmed what I have done for my kid for 1 month. What truly caught my attention in that article is that every mother who breastfed or breastfeed their children are a success. Regardless of how short or long it is as long as one breastfeeds is an achievement. It said that mothers should not be too hard on themselves, what with all the responsibilities they have. I realized its indeed true, I had my reason for giving up on breastfeeding but it does not make me a bad parent. Being a parent is more than just breastfeeding.

Though, I still feel a little disappointed for not having breastfeed my son, I promise that if blessed with another child, I would be more prepared and ready to breastfeed. 

MOM MATTERS:Somebody's going to call me Mom

And after more than a month!

 I. AM. BACK. 

more 

reflections, realizations, 

challenges, struggles

adjustments, inconveniences

experiences and happiness

For the last 28 years of my life, I have been ranting about 

love, friends, jobs, travel, money, all those sort of things

It was a fun ride, it was fun learning and experiencing life in my eyes.

But

August 21, 2013 marked a new chapter of my life. 

 SOMEONE WILL START TO CALL ME MOM

It will take more than a month, even more than a year, before I actually hear it

But looking at my precious boy, 

I know in my heart starting today until the rest of my life

I am a Mom. 

And as  I write this, 

I could not ask for more

I can only thank God and the universe 

for giving me a  

reason

purpose

joy

life 

to live my life.

I am a Mom.

MOM MATTERS: Breastfeeding is Best Feeding

I attended a Breastfeeding and Lactation Workshop yesterday, August 14, at Capitol Medical Center, Quezon City. I was encouraged by my OB-GYNE to attend it as she also wanted me to breastfeed my would be son. It was really a blessing because my husband and I really wanted to breastfeed as it has so many advantages. I was not really into breastfeeding or I didn't like the thought of it when I was still single. I felt it was awkward, uncomfortable, and just weird. Especially as I didn't know anyone personally who does it. I always see people breastfeeding in jeepneys, streets and even in malls. But all that changed when my cousin, breastfed her son, and is still breastfeeding until now. Her son's already more than 1 year old. Through her, I learned of the positive effects of breastfeeding. One of which was it's very economical. I have three other nieces and nephews, all of them drink milk formula and I know how expensive it is. It was really one of the main reason why I wanted to breastfeed. Little did I know, that I would get a lot more if I do breastfeed.

Freebies from the seminar

When we arrived in Capitol Medical Center, we were a little surprise because most of the participants were doctors, and hospital personnel. Although, the workshop was for medical practitioners, we were still accommodated. They even gave us freebies.

The morning session was about the benefits of breastfeeding, proper breast care and expressing milk. The afternoon session was for clinical and hospital personnel and the practice of breastfeeding in private hospitals.  Two speakers from Fabella Hospital talked about the benefits of breastfeeding and the methods of expressing breastmilk. They are Manang Norma and Manang Melba, they are both mid wives. They shared that in Fabella there are about 147 deliveries in 24 hours. Imagine how many children are born every hour in Fabella. So I knew, that these speakers were really experts in their field. It made the seminar a lot more interesting for me.

Registration Area at the Auditorium of Capitol Medical Center

First topic was about the benefits of breastfeeding. I summarized them as follows:

1. Protection from diseases and allergies.

2. Good family planning method

3. Breastmilk has a lot of vitamins and minerals that is good for the baby. 

4. Reduces the risk of breast cancer

5. It helps for losing weight

6. Readily available

7. Children that are breastfed do not usually become sickly.

8. Bonding for both mother and child. 

9. Protects from infection and anemia

10. Very convenient because it does not need any equipment.

These ten benefits of breastfeeding, all the more made me an advocate for it. I realized that it is nature's way of caring for our little ones. It's also God's miracle that we are able to feed our children from our own bodies. As Manang Melba said, "Ang Gatas ng Tao, para sa tao" and I totally agree. But just like any other first time mom, I had apprehensions on breastfeeding. Many questions were actually running through my head like what if I can't produce milk for my baby, how do I start breastfeeding, and how long should I be doing it?
Luckily, all of this has been answered.

How to start breastfeeding?

Manang Norma said that first and foremost important in breastfeeding, is a mother's state of mind and willingness. She said that it's very important for first time moms to decide and stand on that decision to breastfeed. She said that it is best that new moms think that it is the only for them to feed their child so they must do it. She also said that it is very important that a mom's build their confidence in breastfeeding. It is important that a first time mom gets the support necessary from her husband and other family members. She also emphasized that doctors should also be able to talk to their patients about their issues or concern with breastfeeding. This will help clear any misconceptions about breastfeeding and help them reinforce the decision to breastfeed.

I'll also share some of the Frequently Asked Questions about breastfeeding that was discussed in the seminar:

1. What if my breasts are small? Will it produce enough milk for my baby?

According to the speakers, the size and shape of the breasts does not matter. As long as the mom is willing to breastfeed, it will produce the necessary milk needed.

2. I have inverted nipples, how do I express milk from them?

Inverted nipples according to the speakers are easy to deal with. They use different syringe that acts as suction to pull out the inverted nipples. Another tip given was the Hoffman's Technique or Exercise. It's a very simple exercise to do with inverted nipples to let it pop out. Dra. Blancaflor, shared this simple exercise, a breastfeeding expert who breastfed all her seven children. She said you just need to pull the outwards from the sides until the nipple pop out. One other method is to let your husband pull out the nipples thru his tongue. Although, this is not very much recommended as it may initiate premature labor.

Manang Norma showing a 15 cc syringe used to express milk

Manang Norma showing a 20 cc syringe

3. What if I'm working or studying, can I still breastfeed?

Yes, there are ways to express and store breastmilk so working moms can still do it. A mother can pump and store milk in the freezer and heat it up when needed.

4. What if the baby does not breastfeed for the first time? What methods can be used?

If there is a difficulty in breastfeeding for the first time, a cup feeding method is used. This is when a baby is fed with milk through a medicinal cup. Holding the baby like a football (please see picture), milk will be given to the baby using a cup at the back of its tongue. This is done to prevent the baby from choking. Another method is using a syringe where the milk is flowed from the syringe to the breast until the baby finds his/her mom's breast.

Manang Melba showing how to cup feed a newborn baby

5. What if I do not produce enough milk?

Manang Norma and Manang Melba are also lactation experts. They shared and demo lactation massages that they do to help first time mom produce milk.

Lactation Massage 101:
1. Clear mindset and accepting heart to breastfeed
2. Massage different points:

   a. HEAD: middle points, pituitary, in a downward stroke, from the temples and release

   b. ARMS: Inward strokes

   c. SHOULDERS: Outward strokes
   d. BACK: Spinal cord in downward strokes
3. Note that breasts are not touched when doing the lactation massages


Another way to produce more milk is to take malunggay supplements or eat anything with malunggay. They also shared one recipe which is to boil malunggay leaves with pinch of salt and drink it. It helps in lactation and has a lot of other benefits.

6. How to clean nipples/breasts properly?

They also discussed about the proper nipple care when breastfeeding. It is important to hand wash the breast, and make sure not to use soap for the nipples. It is also advisable to use just water and a cotton and sterile gauze to properly clean it.

7. How to properly carry the baby while breastfeeding?

Demo on carrying the baby called the Football hold

1. No pain for the mother
2. Chin is closest to the breast
3. Sucks without stimulation
4. Baby has full cheeks
5. Facing the mother
6. Well attached to the chest
7. Supported by the mother's arms

We left after the morning session because the afternoon was directed more for hospital staff and medical people. We learned a lot from it and has helped me and my husband to be more confident in breastfeeding our son. I am now a full pledge advocate for breastfeeding and I hope I'd be able to successfully do it. Wish me luck!:)

If you ever need a lactation expert, you may contact Manang Norma and Manang Melba at 0908 123 3264. They can go to your hospital to have a lactation massage and breastfeeding session.

MOM MATTERS: Hospital Essentials for the First Time Mom

Yes, I am indeed excited. Excited and nervous at the same time. Excited to finally meet my son and nervous anticipating the pain I'm about to experience. I'll be on my 36th week this Saturday, and since April I have been thinking and preparing for the stuff I would bring for my baby,my husband, and me. I already have two bags full in our room just in case I'll be giving birth. It's a lot less stressful if for me to have things prepared ahead of time already, so I would only focus on my breathing during labor. (HAHA!):)

So, I've asked around some Moms I know and the essentials they brought in the hospital. Here is a list of items they brought in the hospital. I categorized it to for the Baby, for Mommy, for Daddy, and important documents.

Photo taken by the blogger

Photo is taken from Google search and is not owned by the blogger

Photo is taken from Google search and is not owned by the blogger

Documents to bring are:

SSS Records

PHILHEALTH Records

Medical or Hospital records

HMO documents if any

Identification cards

ATM and credit cards

I hope these list of essentials would be all that we'll need in the hospital. I'm sure first time moms, and other Moms out there have other ideas, maybe you can them with me so I could prepare them as well. Thanks and let's enjoy our pregnancy!:) 

MOM MATTERS: SSS Requirements for Maternity Benefit and Reimbursement

It's my eight month in the pregnancy and one of the many things I also prepare for aside from cute little clothes, tiny socks and mittens, feeding bottles, etc. are documents to claim benefits from SSS and Philhealth. Being a practical person, I always organize my files and prepare documents way ahead of time so I won't have problems when the time comes that I need it. Or in my case, I would want everything in easy access for my husband so he knows what to do when I can't do it after delivering our baby. It would be less stressful not only to him but especially to me. It also will give us more time to adore and admire our newborn son than go gaga over documents we need.

One of the most important things to prepare right after or let say 2-3 months after finding out that you're pregnant is the SSS Claim for Maternity Benefit or MAT-1 Form. If you're working, your company can help you in submitting this, but if you're like me who's unemployed, you can directly go to the SSS office near you.

What to bring when filing your SSS MAT-1 form:
1. Mat-1 Form: It's available online so you can print one at home and fill it out or if not its also available in the office.
2. Ultrasound or hospital record showing you're really pregnant
3. Bring your SSS ID or number
4. Ballpen
Click here for the downloadable MAT-1 Form: MAT-1 Form

After giving birth, you will need to submit your MAT-2 form which will help you claim for your maternity benefit. Click here for the downloadable form: MAT-2 Form

Requirements: (As seen in the MAT-2 MAternity Reimbursement Form)
1. Maternity notification duly stamped received by the SSS prior to the date of childbirth/miscarriage
2. The member must have paid at least three monthly contributions within the 12 month period immediately preceding the semester of childbirth or miscarriage
3. a. For Normal Delivery - A certified true copy or authenticated copy of Birth Certificate duly registered with the Local Civil Registrar
b. For Cesarean Delivery - Certified true copy or authenticated copy of Birth Certificate duly registered with the Local Civil Registrar, Operating room record or surgical memorandum duly certified by the hospital where the member is confined.
c. For Stillbirth - Fetal Death Certificate duly registered with the Local Civil Registrar
d. For Miscarriage or Abortion - Pregnancy test before and after miscarriage/abortion, medical certificate/obstetrical history indicating the number of miscarriages duly certified by the attending physician, D & C report duly certified by the authorized hospital representative where the member was confined.
4. a. For Separated Member - Certification from last employer with the effective date of separation from employment
b. For Voluntary Member - a copy of approved SS Form E-5
c. For Self-employed Member - a copy of approved SS Form RS-1


You may check their official website here SSS Official Website for more details.

MOM MATTERS: How to have fun without spending?

I found this post by Ms. Ginger Palma Arboleda in the Manila Work-at-Home Moms facebook page   and I was really challenged by her question. Now that I'm only a month away from being a mom, it is very important for me to save money and make sure my future son would still enjoy and have fun. So I think this topic is really very timely for me. Good thing I already had some practice with my nephews and nieces.

So how do I have fun and spend nothing?

.I am a frustrated pre-schooler teacher so I would always play pretend school with my nieces and nephews. I've listed below some of the activities that we do but unfortunately I don't have the pictures to show it. Surely, next time I would take a picture so we could preserve those moments.

1. Melted Color Arts: I'm sure most of you are familiar with this method of art wherein you collect used crayons, those little ones you can't really color with, a candle, old teaspoon, and a paper. The step is to melt the crayons and splat it on the paper to create different figures and colors. It's very simple and it challenges your kids creativity.

2. Sketch a Leaf: I did this in grade school before and I think this is one of the most fun things to do with arts and nature. Kids would surely enjoy not only the sketching part but also being in nature.

3. Pinoy games: I taught my nephews and nieces piko, tumbang preso, and patintero. Those games cost nothing but is very fun and tiring.

4. Dance and Sing: I would teach them icebreaker and unfreezing songs and dance I learned way way before and in turn they'll teach me what they know.

5. Storytelling: Storytelling is one way of having fun and teaching kids at the same time. I also try to ask my nieces and nephews to tell their own stories and used new words they are not that familiar yet. So we have fun and learn at the same time.

6. Jogging and exercising: We go to the nearest park in our village and jog for an hour and play in the playground. It's an exciting and healthy way of having fun with kids.

I'm sure there are a lot of other activities that are fun and costs nothing. I guess its true that having fun does not necessarily mean spending a lot of money but more on the quality of the time spent. I'm so excited to see my son and enjoy new and free fun activities with him.

MOM MATTERS: My Pregnancy Survival Kit

And yes, it is another preggy post for me today.:)

I know every soon-to-be mom are different. Some really goes through all the symptoms while some just a few of it. I am one of the lucky preggy women who experiences the later. As I'v written in my previous blog, my pregnancy was a wonderful experience. I enjoyed every bit of it. Even the pains and mood swings I had were truly a fun and worth treasuring experience.

But today is about MY SURVIVAL KIT. As a preggy, I had  to make a conscious effort to still look blooming throughout the pregnancy. I did not want to look too different from how I look before. I think pregnancy actually gives a woman a natural glow but it needs to be enhanced. Also, more than ever a woman needs to take better care of herself during this stage as she's already taking care of two people. 

So, here is my survival kit during the whole ordeal.:)

1. What to Expect when you're Expecting. This is on top of my list because it guided me through the whole experience. It is really helpful because I become more prepared for the changes I would feel each month. It also prevented me to feel paranoid because everything was amazingly written in the book which meant what I was feeling was still normal. If it was beyond normal, it was also stated in the book.

2. Multivitamins, Iron, and Omega 3. These were all prescribed by my doctor. I started with only Iron and Omega 3 in the initial stages of the pregnancy. Iron is usually given to soon-to-be moms while my doctor gave me Omega3 for the brain development of my baby. Multivitamins were given to me in my second trimester because as the baby grows I also need to increase my vitamins. So the multivitamin is both for me and my baby. 

3. Human Nature Moisturizing Night Cream. 

To keep my face moisturize and prevent pimples I used Human Nature's Moisturizing Night Cream. It is also organic so it is safe for me and the baby. 

4. Body Butter. One of the most essential things preggy women should have in their survival kit. I started using the Moringa body butter in the initial stages of the pregnancy to prevent any dryness in my thighs, abdomen and other areas. It is during the 7th month that stretchmarks would start appearing so I used Watson's stretchmark minimizer to prevent the stretchmarks in my thighs. I learned that if the stretchmarks is still in its red or violet stage it can still be prevented by putting body butter in the morning and evening. If it's already white then it cannot diminish anymore. So I suggest for pregnant women, moisturize, moisturize!!!

5. Fluffy Pillows. Especially in the third trimester, its a good investment to have comfortable pillows. It helps to have a good night sleep and it cushions your tummy while in a side lying position. I had some difficulty sleeping in the last trimester and lying on my left with pillows in my tummy really helped to put me into sleep.

6. Water. Lots of it. Being pregnant can be proned to urinary tracj infection (UTI) that's why its best to load on water. Water and not any other drink like coke, iced tea or coffee. These drinks would increase the chances of UTI and the sweets in this drinks can also make your baby grow a lot faster.  (which is not good if you're planning to have a normal delivery).

7. Scrapbook. I have a scrapbook of my journey since we knew I was pregnant. I kept all memorabilias such as doctor's prescription, ultrasound, and pictures of myself each month to remind myself of my wonderful journey through pregnancy. This is actually a thing, my husband and I does every after my monthly check up. We wrote our messages and feelings to our future son. It serves as our time capsule so every time I needed to be reminded of how great it is to be a mom, I would have this.. I am also excited fro my son to see how we looked like before he was born.

So what's inside your survival kit? Share it with me!!!:)

Whatever your survival kits are, what matters is you enjoy the pregnancy and 

take good care of yourself in the process.

Happy pregnancy, ladies!!!:)

MOM MATTERS: From a Lady to a Mother

Today is my 32nd week into the pregnancy. Until now, I could not really believe that I am about to become a mother to a beautiful little boy. I have always been fond of children, but have always been nervous of raising one of my own. It is because for one, I am a kid myself and I'm afraid I wouldn't have the patience to raise him in the long run. Unlike, of course, when I am taking care of my nieces and nephews I could easily give up because they have their own parents who would end up taking care of them when I no longer can.These have been my fears but I am still hopeful that I can be the best mom for my son. 

But what is more overwhelming me, though, is my excitement. I am so thrilled to see my son, how he looks like, smells like and  sounds like. Yes, I am also looking forward to hear him cry. (but I won't do it intentionally.:)) I am excited to be a mom, to have a purpose to wake up in the morning, or evening or anytime of the day. To clothe him in his cute, little clothes. To read to him storybooks I've been saving since 2010, and to make a scrapbook of his life. 

I am sure it will be challenging, frustrating, and tiring. But for all these, I am ready to take it. From what I've heard, being a mom, is fulfilling, and priceless. I wouldn't know it yet but I am looking forward to discovering it.  

  In my 9 month journey in the pregnancy, I loved to take pictures of my son already. I wanted him and I to always remember how we looked like before he was born. For the first trimester of the pregnancy, I could not really believe that I was pregnant because I did not have the symptoms most pregnant women felt. 

All I felt was acid in my stomach which made eating a little difficult for me. I lost ten pounds during the first trimester. But when the second trimester came, I was back to my usual self in terms of eating. I actually was eating a lot more than normal. It was fun because my tummy was becoming bigger and I could see the difference in my physique already. It meant wider hips, and bigger arms and other things that becomes big. =) 

And now I am on my third trimester, its funny how I would actually stare in my tummy to see it move. I did also try to take a video of it but he would always tease me and not move while I record it. It is also during this time that I would feel like he's stretching, kicking, and swimming inside me. IT IS SUCH A GREAT FEELING. I would say these are the moments, men would never understand. 

Here are my snapshots from December to June. Haven't taken a picture of myself this July cause it's just the start of the month. 

(From left to right) 

December 2012: Didn't know I was pregnant during our friend's wedding

January 2013: Birthday celebration at Kamameshi House (sorry for the picture)

February 2013: College graduation. I attended as a faculty.

March 2013: Training at Tagaytay

April 2013: Gawad Sinagtala in CSB

May 2013: Yes, I was 6 months in the pregnancy when I got married.:)

June 2013: Honeymoon at Bellevue

It feels like time flies too fast. Literally fast. I am actually torn between being happy and sad. I am sad that this little cute boy is about to leave my tummy in two months time because I would love for him to stay with me longer but I know its not possible and it could be dangerous. Happy, that finally, I am going to meet my little bundle of joy. My soon to be friend, playmate, and son.:)

Looking forward to my Mommy adventures and misadventures!!!:)