A year that was

My 2009 has been a roller coaster ride. Full of thrills, ups and downs and expectations. It is said that counting one's blessing is a good habit to recognize not only the success but also one's failures.

A new year is coming pretty soon, and I think its timely for me to count my blessings.:)

1. My 24th birthday party - Significantly memorable because I spent it with my bee. It was my first time surprise birthday party.

2. Teambuilding and OSB formation sessions - Met cool people and learned new skills.

3. US Visa - Got my visa, multiple entry and for ten years. The only problem is I dont have the money yet to go there..arrgggh...

4. Garage Sale - Had two garage sale at Palmdale. Although i didnt earn much, its still a good way to get rid of some of my junk. Then, overhauling my wardrobe.:)

5. 1st year anniversary with Bee - need i say more:)

6. Back to Basics Summer workshop - Our little attempt to give art, theatre and crafts workshop for kids at lower prices:)

7. Travel - Went to Cebu, Bohol, Galera, Baguio, Cavite, Tagaytay, and Zambales with my super family and friends:)

8. Laptop Makeover - got my new case from Asus

9. Me time - parlor and shopping time for myself

10. Full time teacher - "promoted" to a full time position. A full time position meand better pay, benefits but longer time in school but BETTER pay..:)

11. Financial stability almost reached.

12. Christmas outreach at Women's crisis center.

13. Felt like Santa during Christmas time.:)

110209

A great way to start my week.
Went to holy cross and straight to trinoma for lunch.
Yummy lunch for us at superbowl:)
Timezone with the kids(wyatt, ryan, mico, jayson)
Early christmas gift from Tita Pey.
YEHEY YEHEY YEHEY!!!!
Soo happy!:)

10.04.09

is it really normal for people to think that their lives is less happier than others?

sometimes i feel i am outdated, boring and sad.
but when i think about it i have all the good things in the world.
i have good friends, great family, great work, great bf, great everything...

i cant pinpoint what it is that i really long..

i guess this is where contentment comes in..

and i really need to work on that...

a new term has come

2nd term will start tomorrow..

My monday is gonna be a long day..
i'll start the day 91m and end at 6pm..
im looking forward to a busy but productive day tomorrow..

wish me luck:)

FREE Gift Cheque from Crocs!

FREE Gift Cheque from Crocs!

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what's in store?

090809

"Eyeing for a higher position does not make u greedy. It only means you have goals. Alam mo, God has your best interest in mind, ang tanong ko lang is That what you really want to do? You're a very effective teacher, may leadership qualities ka at admin skills. Maybe nde ngaun or ndi sa school but a promotion is in store for you. Just keep on being committed and faithful with the lot u are given."

Its not about the position anymore, its about me being JUST the second option.
Maybe this isnt where i'll shine the best.
All will be clearer in His time.

still raining....

090809

it still raining.. its been about three days striaght..
i need to go to still but the weather makes me lazy..

the rain makes me:
*feel senti and in a way emotional.
*hate wearing slippers and long pants.
*want to drink hot chocolate or coffee.(like a nescafe moment)
*want to sleep longer
*cuddle with my loved one

i like it when it rains but im a sun person...
come one sun, shed some light on me:)

--image from:http://images.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://israelity.com/wp-content//rain-blog.jpg&imgrefurl=http://israelity.com/tag/rain

boo-hoo

090709

feeling sad without any reason at all..
i did what i had to do for the day..
been playing with wyatt almost the whole day too...
ate my comfort food, (but forgot to eat ice cream--well, maybe because its raining)

there's just something missing, and i cant figure it out..
i feel sad and i just can pinpoint what makes me sad..

*How can a clown look so sad?:(

090109 Wednesday

Today was a great day. It started with my FMA2 class for ORDEV. I gave them their papers and grades already. At least I got one task done already. It was also our last day, im sure gonna miss those kids. I hope they'll still remember me next term, or when they are famous graphic designers or artists in the future. (they're all Multi media Arts Students):)

Patricia, came to me and told me to watch her in ANC. No specific time, I just have to guard the tv from Friday to Saturday to see her. I hope i can watch her episode. Im sure to be proud.
She also gave me her blogsite. its at www.findingtrixie.tumblr.com.

I just saw it and had fun reading. I was so amazed by her shots and blogs. Its like a way for me to get to know her generation. I had to blog it cause i got inspired.:)

Check her out: Patricia Beredo.

It's not a THANKLESS job after all...

September 1, 2009
1218am

Had a random YM!conversation with my former student today. This is the first time ever that a former student personally thanked me as a teacher. It affirmed to me that in one way or the other, I make a difference in someone's life.:)

Here's the messages:

mg: mam what's up? kilala mo pa ko? haha
me: oo nman
mg: haha msta na? nasa skul pa ko..
me: may class?
mg: dapat free cut.. may hinhintay nlng
mg: nagtteach ka pa nman dto diba?
me: aah
me: yep why?
mg: wla lng... hndi na kasi kita nakikita...
me: aaah
mg: um.. bakitmo nasabi before nung nag kita tyo if nag LOA ako?
me: sinabe ko ba un?
me: heheh ewan nalimutan ko na
mg: hahaha oo kaya
mg: isip ko bka feeling mo na rehab ako
mg: hahahaha joke
me: ahahha malamang
me: baka un nga naisip ko nun
mg: hahahaha may facebook ka?
me: wala
mg: sayang add sana kita
mg: haha
me: wala eh
mg: hahaha ok... miss hindi ko nasabi before pero thanks nasiyahan ako sa class mo before
me: naks
me: antagal na nun ah
mg: parang you believed in me
mg: oo nga
me: oo naman
mg: ngyn lng ako nag ka chance sbhn e
me: matalino ka kasi
mg: hahha
me: sabe din ni ms iris
me: tma ba siya ba teacher mo nung cws?
mg: yup
me: o yun na nga sabe nya magaling ka din
mg: haha thanks
me: ayaw mo lang labas
me: inuuna mo kasi bisyo mo!
mg: hahaha dahil siguro sa surrounding ko

Nakakatuwa. Madalas ang pagtuturo marameng dalang frustration,sakit ng ulo at stress. Wala talgang solid na evaluation na magsasabe sayo na magaling ka o nakaapekto ka sa buhay ng estudyante mo. Ndi mo kayang sukatin ang kaalaman na naituro mo sa kanila. Yun eh kung meron man silang natutunan talaga sayo. Mahirap malaman kung magiging sila ang mga estudyanteng gusto mong maging sila. Kasi kung tutuusin, isa lang akong guro. Nasa estudyante pa rin ang kapangyarihan para may matutunan sa akin o wala, choice pa rin nila kung makikinig o maniniwala sila saken.

Isa yun sa mga pinakamabigat na responsibilidad ng isang guro. Isa rin un sa mga misteryong ndi siguradong masasagot o matutuklasan.

Pero ngaun, sa simpleng usapan na yun. Masasabe kong ndi totoo ung kasabihan na "Being a teacher is THANKLESS job." Kasi kahit pala simpleng paniniwala lang sa kakayahan ng isang tao eh may nadudulot nang kabutihan. Salamat sa kanya dahil natutunan kong mas mahalin ang trabaho ko. Natutunan ko din na "simple things really go a long way."

Masaya ako ngaun at bukas papasok ako sa klase nang buong sigla at paniniwala sa kabutihan ng aking mga estudyante.

SALAMAT MG(Code lang)!! :)

Sa iyo.. (sana mabasa mo)

Malapit na mag isang taon nang umalis ka.
Lahat kame nagulat sa nangyare. Di ko alam kung anung mararamdaman o iisipin kasi bigla lang nangyare lahat eh. Gusto kong intindihin ka pero ang hirap dahil isa lang ang naririnig ko kasi tahimik na ang boses mo.

Minsan nagkausap na tayo. Sobrang saya ko dahil akala ko lalapit ka na saken at magsasabe ng nanyare sayo. Pero nagkamali ako, ndi ko alam kung panu nangyare pero nagalit ka saken. Pinutol mo ang lahat ng koneksyon na maaring meron tayo. Simula noon, ang tanging alaala ko sayo ay sa mga larawan at kwentuhan naten noon.

Madalas naisip ko ndi siguro ako naging mabuting tagapakinig sayo. Ndi ko nakita ang pinagdaraanan mo. Ndi ko na gawa ang maging handa para sayo. Ndi ko inakalang mangyayare ito.

Ngaung araw na to, nakita kitang muli. Gusto kitang kausapin pero alam kong lalayo ka lang kapag nalaman mo kung sino ako. Masaya akong makitang maayos ka. May trabaho at mukang masigla naman. Kung asan ka man ngayon sana maalala mo din kame lalo na ang pamilya mo kahit paminsan minsa.

Ikaw kasi lage nameng naalala.... miss na kita. Miss ka na naming lahat.:(

A life little less complicated

For a year now, I have been in a beautiful relationship.
A relationship a lot different from the previous ones I had.

I have been in two relationships in the past that has not treated me exactly the right way, or should I say the way I think I deserved to be treated. Two psuedo-relationships that had been a difficult part of my life. Everytime I think about it again, it still hurts that I had to go through with the pain, the confusion and the pretension. It was hard to be the "2nd" girl, hard to be the girl they would never introduce to their parents, the girl not worthy of commitment. Those memories never fails to hurt me. Honestly, hurt is an understatement of what I felt back then.

During those days, I believed that I was unlovable, that I did not deserve commitment from any guy, that i was not enough for anyone to love. I was more convinced that it was my fate, when the 2nd guy came. I was on the brink of surrendering to the situation.. just to get him to love me.. I was consenting to be an OPTION:the 2nd girl.

Then a light of hope came to me. UNEXPECTED.
I was never looking for another guy, I wasnt even interested.
I guess God answered my prayers.
He gave me someone who can see a beautiful and deeper side of me.

He came. He was cute, i admit it.
He was MY TYPE.

Unfortunately, I was on the verge of accepting I was just good enough to be the 2nd girl.
So I didnt pay too much attention.
As i always say to him now, I WAS JUST BEING NICE TO HIM.

Good thing he still made his way to my heart. With his charming looks, his unbelievably cute smile, his dreams for his family and others, for the way he looked at me like I was the nicest thing on earth. He made me feel so loved, a feeling I have never felt before.

Though it seemed like a fairytale, our story was never smooth and calm.
Before we even became a couple, I had to confront someone from my past. I was confused. I didnt want to hurt anyone. I was willing to hurt myself rather than to hurt them. I thought it was the right thing to do, but guess what this guy told me that what i would do would still hurt three people. However noble or martyr what i was about to do seem like, it would inevitably hurt someone. He taught me to choose, to choose for what i know is best for me.. TO CHOOSE WHAT MY HEART TELLS ME..

I know my heart is a good and smart heart. So, i trusted my heart and the love he offers me.

For a year now, my life is STILL COMPLICATED. Still full of troubles, confusions and pains. Nothing has really changed much..

Nothing except that now i hold in my heart
the person God has sent me,
the person who loves me even at my ugliest,
the person who laughs at my mistakes and bloopers,
the person who can make my temper go sky high but still can make me laugh the hardest,
the person who inspires me to become better,
the person who looks at me lovingly everyday,
the person who appreciates my little nose, and my frail body,
the person who thinks im the hottest thing next to the sun,:)
the person who committed to me and promised me that i am his only love,
the person who has completed my life,

and that person has made every journey of my life a little less complicated.

That person is the love of my life, KEENE ANTOLM BENEDIQUE V. CALIPARA.

This may be too late to be an anniv gift but hey, everyday spent with you is a celebration. I hope you realize how great a person you are.:)

I LOVE YOU BEE!!!:)

03/31/09

Ang sakit ng puso ko…

oo. may ginawa akong mali, di ako nagpaalam nung binuksan ko ung email. I didn’t mean any harm talga nung binuksan ko ung email.

Ang pagkakamali lang siguro ndi na nga ako nagpaalam meron pa akong ginawang mali.. isang isyung matagal nang napagusapan, madameng beses nang napagawayn. Eh wala naman talga akong intension na masama.. gusto ko lang malaman nila kung anung mangyayare. Hindi para magimply ng kahit anu pa man..

Alam kong mali ang nagawa ko. I admit that! Nasasaktan lang talga ako dahil siguro sa alam ko na mali ang ginawa ko pero nagtangatangahan ako at nalimutan ang tama kong dapat gawin.

Alam ko mali, pero ung reaksyon at mga nasabe nya medyo masakit. Parang may kumurot sa damdamin ko na nagsabeng, “ikaw kasi masyado ka nang comfortable! Hindi lahat ng bagay porket kayo eh conjugal na.” Kahit ganu ko sabihin na ndi na ako mangingialam ng kahit na anong gamit nya, andun pa rin ung kirot ng katangahan. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang sakit na nararamdaman ng puso ko, parang gsto kong umiyak at sumigaw. Gusto kong magtago sa ilalim ng mesa kinalalagyan ko ngaun.. gusto kong iatras ang kamay ng oras par asana mas nakapagisip ako ng maayos at nakapagdesisyon ng mas mahinahon. Ndi maintinidihan ang nararamdaman ko, para akong nanghihina at unti unting nawawalang ng paningin. Ansaket pero alam ko na ang sakit na ito ay dulot ng sarili kong kagagawan. Madalas talga tanga ako.

Ang sakit ng PUSO ko…

Back to Basics 2009: Summer Workshop

We are a group of young professionals that will conduct a summer workshop on Arts, Crafts and Drama/Acting for 20 – 25 children ages 7 to 16.This activity aims to provide children with the opportunity to make their summer productive. The event will happen on March 28, 29, April 18, 19, May 2 and 3, 2009. A graduation with exhibit and production will happen on May 17, Saturday as a culminating activity. Participants will be asked to pay P180.00 for the handouts, materials and other expenses for the workshop.

Art Workshop by Gino Rosales
Drama/Acting by Keene Calipara
Crafts Workshop by Jhoanna Espiritu
Consultant: Ma. Hesusa C. Arceno

Making my summer productive

This year will be a different summer for me. My boyfriend, Keene, and I thought of offering art classes feor children this summer. Our objective was to earn a little money so we can sustain ourselves during the summertime.

Summer is always a happy time for me but it also meant that I don't have classes for a month, which means I dont get a SALARY!!! Yikes!! It means that i need to have another source of income to get me through the summer and of course pay off for my summer getaway.

So, ALAS! We thought of offering a summer workshop for children and offer arts, crafts and drama/acting. Both of us were really not the "artist" type, which means we know how to draw... A LITTLE. So we asked, how can we teach art of we cant even do it.

Then, Keene thought of his friend who is a real artist. PROBLEM SOLVED. Gino Rosales, instantly said yes to the idea. He will be the one teaching arts to the children. YEY!!! I will teach crafts while Keene will teach acting/drama. The plan was going smoothly.

Then a BIG QUESTION came: WHO WILL BE OUR PARTICIPANTS? WHO WILL BE OUR MARKET?

That was a really tough one...
Keene's idea was to invite the kids in the church where he used to volunteer. The only hindrance is that most of the kids are from a not-so-well-to-do family so asking for payment would be next to impossible.

Then the realization came. We lowered the price to P30.00 for 6 session including materials, handouts, and snacks. It was really a big risk for us knowing that we offer art and crafts workshop which needed lots of art materials.

Having no money is really a big predicament on our part as organizers. How can we successfully teach these kids if we lack the resources to do it?

We knew God will never fail us, we are surrounded by kind hearted people who shares the same vision with us. So we asked for donations in kind and in any amount possible. These people did not fail us as well. Thanks to their generosity we can push through with the workshop.

There may be alot of challenges along our way. On March 28, Saturday, the workshop will start. We are very eager and at the same time nervous about the outcome of the first day. The only thing that motivates us is the opportunity to share our talent, time and care for these children. We may not earn profit, but we will surely earn new skills, and especially FRIENDS.

On the Look for a SUMMER GETAWAY!

Every year me and my college barkada need (need is actually an understatement) to have a summer getaway. As a young professionals in our chosen fields, summer is always something we look forward to because it the time of the year where we unwind, relax and get away from all the stress in our lives.

SUMMER is THE ULTIMATE ESCAPE FROM REALITY. >> this for me is what summer means. its when i get to travel to another place, try on a new swimsuit, ride the airplane or the bus and just be my friends and LIVE THE GOOD LIFE. Being a young professional, unwinding gives me the fuel to go on with life and make me a "new person" everytime i go back to work.

So this is my ordeal, this summer we planned an out-of-the-country getaway. Ayi, my college superfriend has an employee rate in one of the hotels in Bali, Indonesia and we thought it was a good idea to grab that opportunity. We were all excited by the fact that we get to go out of the Philippines, but knew we had to battle one more problem and that is getting an airfare. We askd travel agents we knew and discovered that the airfare would cost us $500.00 Oh no! and that's still exclusive of terminal fee and local taxes. From then on we doubted the plan. However, there was a brink of hope when we heard that there is a travel expo happening in SM convention center. So, we went there and look for packages that can bring us to out destination. Sadly, different agencies quoted us with the same amount of airfare and it really disappointed us.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?

Well, we decided we had to change plans and stick to the Philippines first before travelling out of the country. We decided we'll try Caramoan city in Camarines Sur. This is where my search began.

I have seen pictures of Caramoan but i do not have a slight idea of where it was and how far it was. I did some research and found a very good site with all the works and tips for people who wants to travel to Caramoan City. I'll post the link here because it has been a really great help for me. I have not yet tested it but who knows i might be in Caramoan this summer.:)
Here is the link: http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/e1d28/15698e/9/.

The author was moymoydtraveler. He posted tips about the place like transportation, accomodations, places to visit and eat in Caramoan. As for a traveller like me, i found it really helpful and easy to read. So for those of you who wants to go to Caramoan, i recommend you this site.:)

BTW, thanks moymoy for the tips!:) I'll post my Caramoan adventure here if ever I'll be able to pull this off.:)

I also found this site http://caramoan-paradise.blogspot.com/2008/12/caramoan-adventure-cwc-wakeboarding.html.

The site is owned by Myra Roces and it offers group tour packages. The packages is really affordable plus the site is very user friendly and informative.:)

Thanks also myra, and im hoping to get in touch with you soon for our trip!!:)

What January 30 means!?!:)

What my birthday mean?

You are always surrounded by a circle of friends. You are friendly and fun to be with. Although you occasionally disappoint them by being stubborn, but over all, they love your qualities.

On Love, You want to have full control of your love and that's not a nice way to treat your partner. You take your time in saying yes to his wedding proposal or if you are a man, you will not propose anyone until you are certainly confident which might take ages.

My strengths:While outwardly witty and humorous, in reality they are rather serious, discreet and discerning.

My weakness:They make misjudgments and are sometimes proud and haughty.

Best job:Self-employed.

Most of the meanings are true for me. its really amazing that a simple application like that can actually state who you are as a person>:)

What's in a NAME?

My name is Jhoanna.

For some reason, I did not like my name when I was a little kid. I always thought it was very hard for some to pronounce and even remember. I also had an idea that people always forget my name becuase it was a three syllable word JHO-WA-NNA. it was kinda hard for some to remember names with three syllables and i wanted my name to be a two syllable word but it was not what i had. Some of my friends have shorter names, which means TWO SYLLABLE WORD.

This meant that they were always remembered by people and by those they dont even know. I did not like the feeling at all. At times i felt invisible and worst, i felt unlovable. Many would think that its just a name but for me it reflects how we are seen or remembered by people. If people do not remember your name it is the same with you as a person --forgotten.
As a teacher by profession, it has always been my policy that my students remember my name. This is due to the fact that students can really have some "good words" when describing their professors. So, for them to remember my name I sometimes include it in my exams.*wink* Although this is a good strategy for students to remember me, it is inevitable that some of them still forgets my name. Actually, i have been given different names already, some are funny some are really out of to his world.
i appreciate students who remember my name and it is also my goal to remember all their names inspite of the difficulty of matching faces and names. There is always a sense of fulfillment in my part when i remember their names even if they are already my former students. There is also the same feeling of fulfillment when my former students remember my name. It is a constant reminder that in some ways i might have really touched their lives. That in the journey of our lives we have seen and been part of that life.
I have always wanted my name to be remembered. Luckily, I got that from my profession and my students.
Now, I have learned to love the name that i have. I have also loved the person that owns that name.
**Speaking of names, here's what my name says about me.*(from www.blogthings.com)

Your name says that you are mostly:
Talented but unmotivated

Your name also says you are:
Independent but distant

Moral but jealous

Ambitious but stubborn

be comfortable with your own skin

**its been months since i wrote here. i have my reasons and some of it are because of work, no internet connection, no interesting topic to write.but really when i come to think of it, the only reason i dont usualy blog is because i am not confident in how i write and with my thoughts. When i get the courage to write, insecurities stop me from doing so because i am so afraid of judgments.

So, why am i writing now? simple: being comfortable with your own skin

what made me change my mind? let's just say true friends does things without having a single idea that they have done something significant in your life, and for that im thankful for my friends:)

me and three of my high school barkada were in a yahoo messenger conference. the conversation was the usual "kamustahan" and that "kamustahan" went into a more serious talk mostly about work, being yourself and being happy.

i wont go into details but the conversation made me realize that people differ, jobs differ and coping on life differs. there are certain people that cope through friends, laughter, going out and partying while some people tend to overthink things.

i am both. i sometimes feel that i need to go out and hang out with my friends when things dont go my way or when i feel stressed out. after a night out i feel good and ready to face the world again.

but there are times i overthink things. i think so much about what others may say about me,what's wrong with me and why do i have to be me.

coping with the stress of work and daily life is HARD. Nothing in this world is easy its just a MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE. sometimes work is not really the main problem of every stress we experience, sometimes the problem lies with us.

It is very important for a person to fully discover oneself. things that make you happy, sad, angry and crazy. your favorite things, colors you love, movies you want, books you die for.. things that no other person can discover but yourself. this for me is SELF LOVE. only you can love yourself the way you want to be loved and cared for, when you finally find this, love will come pouring in. that's the only time people surrounding you would also pour their love on you. you will exude an aura of joy and love and having friends and being loved will be effortless. being comfortable with one's skin is SELF LOVE. when you cannot love yourself no other person can do it for you. loving oneself is the first part of understading how love works, becuase if you cant love yourself how can you be sble to love others?

when you feel frustrated, depressed or unloved, stop and think again.. PEOPLE ACTUALLY LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, YOU JUST DONT LOVE YOURSELF THAT MUCH.

being comfortable with one's own skin is really difficult, there will be times you'll doubt yourself of things you are capable of doing. insecurities will come crawling in on you and bad comments may make their way on your ears. but come to think of it its your own skin, who else will be comfortable with it?:P